When my friend Karen asked if she could send me Queen For A Day to consider for Daily Grommet, I was intrigued by the title alone (what woman wouldn't be?). As soon as I started reading it, I knew it would be a great fit for us -- it's all about making your birthday into a celebration of you. I sent Linda Sacha (the author) some questions and she not only answered them, she's offering a signed copy to one of our lucky readers.
I've always been a firm believer that your birthday is YOUR day, and I love how what you're describing in the book takes it past mere acknowledgment of the occasion. What inspired you to turn your birthday into an opportunity to be "queen for a day"?
Pain! Emotional discomfort is a great motivating factor if one uses it to make something new happen. This took me awhile. I was in my mid-thirties and realized my birthday had disappeared. I always had simple, yet joyful childhood celebrations where you were clear that it was YOUR day – a good cupcake and a hug can do the trick. As I aged, moved away from family, and no one was in charge of my celebration, I let it slip away. I now know that it was a statement of how I was feeling about my world and myself. As I slowly but surely emerged from being a birthday pouter, blamer, and shamer, (everyone should just KNOW what I want and need), I got hooked. Hooked on self-perpetuated happiness. So what started as, “Oh yeah, I used to like my birthday” slid nicely into, “Ok, I’m 50 - could we get this party started, please?” Which, of course, only a queen, a woman who owns her own life and happiness, can proclaim.
Have you found that your family has been fully supportive of you being "queen for a day," or did it take time for them to adjust to the idea.
My husband is so darn relieved that I am a Queen! When he first read, Queen for a Day, he looked up with tears and said, “I had no idea.” And there you have it. The things that we often take so personally are really a matter of showing up for ourselves and asking for what we want. Loved ones don’t enjoy guessing what makes us happy – they’re eager to participate in a plan that pleases us.
I’d say it took ME time to adjust to the idea. It has been an ongoing personal evolution that totally jazzes me.
Why do you think women have such a hard time celebrating themselves?
I believe we’re wired as natural nurturers, so our first thought is often the happiness of others. We wouldn’t dream of not celebrating our child’s day of birth, yet we put ourselves at the bottom of our to-do lists. Then we throw in past programming about not getting a big head and top it off with a slice of, “Oh that’s just selfish.” Selfishness doesn’t apply when it comes to celebrating one’s self. As we fill our internal bank account with acts of love and nurturing, we have so much more to give. It’s a total win – win.
Some people might think that orchestrating a large celebration for their own birthday may be more work than the payoff - what would you say to them?
Don’t do it! Our birthdays are as unique as we are. “Celebration” is a personal term that is defined by each woman and her unique heart’s desires. That’s what so honoring about being a Queen – you do it your way.
It was very clear in my interviews with women that what was joyful for one gal was repulsive to another. The definition of celebration is, “The action of marking one’s pleasure.” Whether it’s a walk on the beach with your best friend, eating a taco with your child or dancing on a table, it’s all about acknowledging your day of birth in your own way.
What has the response to the book been so far? Do you find that people are excited to follow your example?
I am thrilled with the national response. My vision is women around the world celebrating themselves like never before, beginning with their birthday. That begins with each of us being one hair happier each year with how our personal celebration is going. So every book signing, sale, email of jubilation, or crown photo I receive, reminds me that we’re all in this together. Women want to own their hearts while they share it with others. Many women have told me that after reading the book, they feel like they got permission and a plan!
I know that I'll use your book as a handy reference for my next birthday - please tell our readers why they need/deserve to have this book in their hands.
The greatest gift we can give the world is the gift of loving ourselves more deeply and dearly. Our birthday is our annual personal anniversary where we have the opportunity to pause for just a moment, adjust our crown, and know we matter. Queen for a Day is an invitation to be the supreme ruler of your own happiness. What could be juicier?
Thanks so much, Linda!
General contest rules: To enter, you must be a U. S. resident, and at least 18 years of age and you must leave a comment or question on today’s post. No purchase necessary. The winner will be randomly selected and will receive a win a copy of Queen for a Day. Employees, contractors, and the families of employees and contractors of Daily Grommet, Inc. are not eligible to enter. You are not eligible to win if you have received a prize or giveaway from Daily Grommet in the last six months. Void where prohibited. Contest will run from 8:00 am EST through 10:00 pm EST April 8, 2010.