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What I really want for Father's Day

We asked our friend, Brandon, to give us a dad's perspective on what fathers really want for Father's Day.  As a product discovery site, we anticipated a wide range of possible answers.  But nothing prepared us for Brandon's moving post, which brought us to our knees by reminding us that it's ultimately about gratitude and the gifts of normalcy and being together.  Thank you, Brandon, for sharing this with us.

By Brandon

There are new birds in our new neighborhood, swallows and scrub jays, so much bluer and boisterous than the mellow little juncos and towhees we've befriended these past 9 years. What I want for Father's Day is to meet these birds and have them become familiar staples in our life, to make this transition easier.

fathersGrowing up between two very different kinds of fathers, though similar in their propensities to roam, as though escaping, from one part of the country to the other, I remain intimate with the familiarity of moving. You really don't know someone until you've experienced a move together.

We moved into a new house last week. A new house in a new neighborhood in a new town. In a way, this first move of ours really was all those things I hoped to never visit upon my family. It was more or less an escape. A year ago, my son's best friend and his five year old brother died because of a terrible decision made under an awful influence on an unfamiliar river. A week after my son's birthday, and the Friday before Father's Day. The funeral was on the older boy's birthday.

What I want for Father's Day, then, is to lay out in this new backyard of ours and read and try to relax but utterly fail. I want to suffer from the constant interruption and fighting and complaining that seem so familiar to me as the person responsible for raising two unbelievably normal children. I don't want them to treat me special or bring me gifts or even behave for that matter, but to act as though nothing  has ever happened, as though nothing has changed from one day to the next, one transition to the other, with the hope that at least for a day, nothing might ever change.

I want us to move on and ease into the familiarity of our old, underappreciated routine.

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  • Angella Says:

    I loved this, Brandon. Loved this.

  • Barbara Says:

    Brandon, this is truly beautiful. It speaks to me as a parent, and I thank you, sincerely, for pointing out the amazing gift of our "old, underappreciated routine."

  • James Pettingill Says:

    I am in the process of selling my house and I don't want to move. I love it here, even with the neighbors that are less than ideal. But I will be moving up into a in a nicer neighborhood with new people and things to discover. I am going to miss all the memories, love and laughs. I like to explore but love to come home, and I know that the move is going to have a lasting effect on my children's lives.

    So for my fathers day, I just want to spend it with my family. Play games with my kids, kiss my wife, tell her how much I love her and thank her for providing me the joyful experience of being a dad. My day has been planned out for me. An hour of video games with my boy, and then this afternoon, I get to see my daughter dance in a ballet on stage. Just the thought brings proud tears of joy to my eyes.

    Happy Fathers day to you Brandon.

  • Jules Pieri Says:

    @James--thanks for sharing your Father's Day plan. It sounds idyllic, and you sound like you deserve such a day too.

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